Reason for Living

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you felt there is no reason for living? Question sounds scary huh? This must have been what's inside a person's head when he's contemplating on ending his life, or when he feels all alone, depressed and lonely, or when his life is all messed up and can't find a way to make it better, or when he's drowning in pain - physically or emotionally.

This thought popped into my head this morning... not that I wanted to end my life or anything - don't read me wrong here. Maybe I just had too much time to myself that I was thinking of so many things. Things I wanted to do with and in my life but just couldn't... miss my family... having no work... insecurities... blah blah blah.

Ok, back to the question/topic... Why would a man think there is no reason for living? Aren't our families reason enough? Or our friends? Or the man we love? I have always wanted to ask people who tried ending there lives why they did it. Is it a mental thing or an emotional disturbance or just plain weakness?

I remember a friend from high school who took her life by hanging herself from the beam of their house. They said it was because of insecurity. It was tragic so to speak, but no one knew the reason. I couldn't say it was because of that - she did good in school, she was athletic, she had lots of friends, her family was well off and I think was a cool family. Why did she do it?

I also know of someone who had tendencies but I never had the guts to ask what triggers them or what's in his mind. I know there are scientific/medical explanations but what I wanted to know is what's on the minds of these people? What makes them do it?

I know I had reached a point where I thought I had no reason for living but then I think of my son and the poeple I love and the thought just slips by... I know I can always think of a reason and there'll always be one. I guess the desire to live is what drives me to move on. I just hope that desire doesn't wear off and if it does.......

Two Fave Songs

I just felt like posting the lyrics of two of my favorite songs. Songs that I have been keeping in my playlist for the longest time...

I'll Be by Edwin McCain

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that ill ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am