Digi Layouts

More! More! More practice! :D

It Came The Other Day

My package from sizzix came the other day. The excitement almost killed me. Well, it's an exaggeration... hahaha...

Anyhow, even if the sidekick is here, I still won't be able to scrap because my stash is in my SIL's house in NY and I am here in PA (4hrs away). I will pick them all up this weekend when I visit.

Here are a couple of pictures of what came...

[Latest] Scrap Pages

As promised, here are the traditional layouts I made. Still lacking journals though...

And here are the 2 digi pages I was able to create...

Some Updates

It's been ages since I posted something here. That's because for the past seven months I have only made 4 scrap pages, 1 a few weeks after I got here and 3 just a few weeks ago... huhuhu... Let's just say I was on rehab for my scrap addiction - partially that is. Though I have only made 4 LOs, I have not really stopped my "addiction" to scrap stuff. Whenever I pass by a Michael's or Joann's store, I would definitely stop and look (and eventually buy!) some of the items they have on sale which are mostly printed papers and tools.

Part of my scrapping materials were left in a box in my mom's home, collecting dust, waiting to be shipped here. I was not able to bring all of them - with the baggage weight limit and all. What's sad is, the stuff that I left were the heavy ones - scissors, bigkick, dies, papers, paints... This is not an excuse not to scrap though. Anyhow, last Friday, Sizzix had a two-day sale. They offered further discounts on already marked down items. This made my head roll and good ol' self control lost her power (again!). I bought their pink sidekick and some dies. Sixty dollars poorer but 100% happy!

Why I haven't had time to scrap? Well, I was on a project until the end of August in Harrisburg, PA. This is 3 hours away by car from New York (where my hubby and son are staying). About 4.5 hours by train and 6.5 hours by bus - if there are no delays. I go home to NY every weekend leaving Harrisburg on Friday nights and coming back Sunday nights. I spend the almost-2 days bonding with family, making up for the week that I was away. I just take a glimpse of my scrap stuff to make sure my son didn't play with them but never made any LO. Now that I am on bench, I am a hands-on mom... no yaya here :'( This gives me very little time for scrapping.

I recently bought a book on digital scrapbooking. I figured this is a good alternative for me since I couldn't bring along all my stuff when I travel. I have made my first scrap page. It was fun but I still have a lot to learn. As of now I still enjoy traditional scrapbooking more.

I'll post the pictures of the pages I have created and some of the stuff I bought on my next post. I still have to move them to the computer. Till next update...

Work at Last!

Finally, after more than three months of waiting, I have work at last! Yes, you read that right! Finally, after so many resume reviews, submissions, vendor calls and a handful of client interviews, I got an assignment. Thanks to my friend Anne, who "forced" her team lead to consider me. I am now in Harrisburg, PA working on a project for the Department of State. Though it's just a short-term (3-month) assignment, I am still so happy I got it. I just hope I'll be able to perform well, for them to keep me for the next three months - and not boot me out of the project or have me shipped back to the 385 guesthouse in NJ, which I dread the most. :)

My first day was a bit boring and a little frustrating. I guess, maybe because I was just reading through stored procedures. But every bit of that feeling changed on my second day. I got my first task - well, technically, it was a list of tasks. I was going to make dynamic stored procedures for the application's reports. I completed this task an hour before we left the office this afternoon. I know tomorrow won't be dragging because they're giving me a new task. A task more challenging than the first one.

Well, can't wait for friday to come. I'm so excited to go back to my family in New York and spend the weekend with them. And tell them how my first week was at work.

Reason for Living

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you felt there is no reason for living? Question sounds scary huh? This must have been what's inside a person's head when he's contemplating on ending his life, or when he feels all alone, depressed and lonely, or when his life is all messed up and can't find a way to make it better, or when he's drowning in pain - physically or emotionally.

This thought popped into my head this morning... not that I wanted to end my life or anything - don't read me wrong here. Maybe I just had too much time to myself that I was thinking of so many things. Things I wanted to do with and in my life but just couldn't... miss my family... having no work... insecurities... blah blah blah.

Ok, back to the question/topic... Why would a man think there is no reason for living? Aren't our families reason enough? Or our friends? Or the man we love? I have always wanted to ask people who tried ending there lives why they did it. Is it a mental thing or an emotional disturbance or just plain weakness?

I remember a friend from high school who took her life by hanging herself from the beam of their house. They said it was because of insecurity. It was tragic so to speak, but no one knew the reason. I couldn't say it was because of that - she did good in school, she was athletic, she had lots of friends, her family was well off and I think was a cool family. Why did she do it?

I also know of someone who had tendencies but I never had the guts to ask what triggers them or what's in his mind. I know there are scientific/medical explanations but what I wanted to know is what's on the minds of these people? What makes them do it?

I know I had reached a point where I thought I had no reason for living but then I think of my son and the poeple I love and the thought just slips by... I know I can always think of a reason and there'll always be one. I guess the desire to live is what drives me to move on. I just hope that desire doesn't wear off and if it does.......

Two Fave Songs

I just felt like posting the lyrics of two of my favorite songs. Songs that I have been keeping in my playlist for the longest time...

I'll Be by Edwin McCain

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that ill ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Packing Time

"It's packing time!" That's the latest line you'll most probably hear often in the Bruan houshold. I will be leaving for the US on February 22 and we have a couple of weeks to pack all the stuff I want to bring and the stuff that my hubby and son should ship before they follow me in a few months. Plus the stuff that needs to be given away or sent to my parent's and in-law's house. We have to do this while I'm still here or else hubby will send all our stuff to in-law's house hehehe.

It'll be a very busy month for us, I know. And scrapping won't be done until I get to the US. :( I have packed my scrapping stuff already... 1 box with a weight almost 2x the allowed baggage limit of the airline. Now, that's a huge problem! I have to sort out what's coming with me and what's going to be shipped before hubby asks me to leave them here...

See you again sometime...

On February 5, 2008, I bade my office friends goodbye... Deltek has been my second home for the last five years and the people I worked with I have considered family for half a decade.

It was my last day at work. Being an emotional person, I had to psych myself a couple of weeks to fight back tears. I resigned from work because I will be leaving the country soon. I promised myself I won't let tears fall on my last day - I want to remember only happy faces and sweet smiles.

I will surely miss everyone at the office especially my friends. But as I said in the farewell note I sent them... "this isn't goodbye... it's just see you again sometime..."